52 weeks of gratitude

Previous part

#3 family

Family …. I really don’t like to talk about my family , and there are three reasons for it .

1 I don’t wanna talk about it
2 I don’t wanna talk about it
3 I don’t wanna talk about it

But its a challenge and that why I have taken it to make myself a better me

Alright I’ll start with my self.
I am the only child of my parents . I live in a joint family very common in India. I have have 4 siblings, three of which havn’t talked to me since I don’t know when . I have lost the f***ing count of it . Due to some “family problem” (insert a gif of the thing you do with 2 finger of both hands). 4th is the only one who actually remember my name literally I guess . Well thats about my relations in my family.

Lets get down to the section parents
I don’t know where to start
should I start with our poor finacial status
Should I start with the fights I have seen between them
Should start with the time I heard my father verbally abusing my mother ..
I have seen her crying and for her I am the only hope

I don’t know there were so many things that happened and made me more mature then I should have been at the present age .

You know I was really good student when I was still a child and thats where it all got wrong
My mom thought I will be the one to get her out of this mess
Pressure starts boiling as I progressed . And that pressure made me from a really good student to a decent  student and now a average. And when I see her crying I really get angry at myself .. “what am I doing?” ” how will I help her if I start to become like this ”
I am really crying right now , I can’t go on now sorry ..

That was all I can say about my family
Thanks for reading

Picture content

I’ve been thinking what I have done till now with this blog and as I look back,trace my steps I see it lacks something. There are a whole lot of text .. there is hardly any pic and colours on this blog and I was thinking to post some but not here . Those who are willing to see more photo type content can follow me on instagram

@read.fantasy

And I will regularly posting here and updating too ..

Thank you in advance if anyone follow me there 🙂

See you guys later

52 weeks of gratitude

Previous part

#2 spouse/significant other

In the past I really don’t have too many relationship to begin with . Honestly I don’t have any relationships at all . I was always THE FOREVER ALONE. I don’t have too much friends because nobody really understands me . Second thing is that I am not at all good looking I am just a below average person who could only hope that someone will hear something I wisper, I usually see other people and how easy they find it to talk to other girls, somehow I never really managed to do it . honestly I didn’t even knew the names of everone in my batch (school) let alone talking to them. I am really anxious and a shy type. I really talk to the other sex because even the thoughts of it freaks me out . I am really not very good at talking . I was always a loner and an anti-social type not because I choose it but because I have became like that .

Fast forward from that 3 years earlier a new girl comes to my school . At first it looked like she was just another girl but suddenly I found out that I feel something special for her and she found out something different in me something that others were uncapable of. Soon we were friends and I started talking to her, we became really good friends in no time but (I hate this word it come in the middle and destroy every thing) there was something she was hiding . She generally asked me one day if I like her more than a friend or not ,i couldn’t resist my feelings for her and I told her every thing .

She was already in a relationship thats what she was hiding . It felt bad like really bad but I somehow managed myself . We were still friends. but I recently found something odd in her behaviour something like she was coming closer to me . And then nov 22 last year she told me every thing about her past and that she was single now , then the blast happen. She told me that she likes me too .

I was really happy and didn’t knew how to react. She asked me if I still do like her or not .. Hell I was mad for her .

We are in relationship since then and very happy too.

Next part

52 weeks of gratitude

#1 Why start this challenge?

I am mainly starting this challenge ’cause i am out of ideas for what to post on my blog in near future, also i am reacently started writing my first story and this challenge would help aid to maintain the regularity on my blog so some good news that you people will be reading a all new avatar of my writing skills. i have been in really torred time recently and this would help me to escape from all the thoughts of the sad time and i would have a better oppertunity to describe and present myself to all my readers. it will help me boost my connection out there and find people i would like to connect with and have same intrest and maybe same background. this challenge will run about 52 weeks and i will be postng once a week and now you can do the math that i will be posting about 52 different topics or i should say aspect of my life . the challenge had been started today with this post and i will continew writting till 52nd week and hope this will help me find myself somethimg better something different.

happy blogging

Next part

Future

And now its all comming to an end
Years it seems
Now its nothing
Daily routine
Now I will step into the real world
World of cruelity
Thinking of my future
Working on my own for a living
The time has come
I will stop depending and start pretending
The ways for the thing it’s get to be done

business trips replaces summer vacation
Office replaces school
Boss replaces teachers
Files replaces homework
Stranger replaces friends

I will be all on my own now

I don’t think I’m ready for the future

Sometimes

Sometimes all you need is a little apriciation
You did good today
sometimes all you need is a little recognation
Oh thanks.. But I wasn’t alone he helped me too
Sometimes all you need is a inspiration
What can’t be done,
But you’ll do it
Sometimes all you need is someone who will push you to the edge
Just one more rep bro.

But what the world do is

Can’t you do better

Yeaa it was all me …

Nobody has ever done it
How will you ?

You won’t even get past a rep

A dieing breed

Why faces of all the writers are black & white
I mean are they all old or died
I never tried to look a it this way
And never knew what words might meant to say
A character that is a dieing breed
Something that gives a new perspective indeed
Something others can’t see
And they ? They can never unsee
They were supposed to be praised for the gift they had
But they starved with nothing in thier hand
They suicided and they went mad
It’s so sad to believe
As the time fleas
Their will be so few of these people we are ever gonna see

Lawyers,plumbers,docters
They all made money
Writers?
Writers starved
Writers suicided
Writers went mad.

-Charles Bukowski

The above quote made me write this poem . The lines are so true to its core … In simple words it displays a lot of meaning….. Please do share your views