A hope once given

You became the dawn in my daunting life

I was at the end when your light hit my eyes

You were the hope i was waiting for 

A Hope once given .
It felt so simmilar, yet you were different

Familiar feeling , yet an unfamiliar face

We were so distant,yet you felt so close home 
You made me think , the end of something good isnt the end of you
I smiled after quite a while , but it was more that what met my eyes

You were too there , where i now belong 

You amazed me ,how you were so strong 
It all made sense .

the feeling i felt , so surreal.

The connection between me and you
I closed my eyes , reach for your hand and held

I wont leave you , no matter what sadness may befell.

For you are the last hand life has delt

And if not for you i would have fell.

Life has to go on

​It always comes back

And it will keep on coming 

We had to forget and forgive 

Instead we forgot each other

And all the efforts turned to dust.
But life has to go on 

And these moments will too

I will see you with someone else

That i never planned.
There were nights

While we were away

While we were hoping,but could only pray

That we were, together.
We used to stay up all night 

Going out of our way

Now we cannot sleep

Even if we tried.
And i know you’re listening 

From somewhere i cant see

And if its true, then dont do this to me

Please come back, cause i am a mess

Please come back, and put this to rest.

52 weeks of gratitude

Previous part

#3 family

Family …. I really don’t like to talk about my family , and there are three reasons for it .

1 I don’t wanna talk about it
2 I don’t wanna talk about it
3 I don’t wanna talk about it

But its a challenge and that why I have taken it to make myself a better me

Alright I’ll start with my self.
I am the only child of my parents . I live in a joint family very common in India. I have have 4 siblings, three of which havn’t talked to me since I don’t know when . I have lost the f***ing count of it . Due to some “family problem” (insert a gif of the thing you do with 2 finger of both hands). 4th is the only one who actually remember my name literally I guess . Well thats about my relations in my family.

Lets get down to the section parents
I don’t know where to start
should I start with our poor finacial status
Should I start with the fights I have seen between them
Should start with the time I heard my father verbally abusing my mother ..
I have seen her crying and for her I am the only hope

I don’t know there were so many things that happened and made me more mature then I should have been at the present age .

You know I was really good student when I was still a child and thats where it all got wrong
My mom thought I will be the one to get her out of this mess
Pressure starts boiling as I progressed . And that pressure made me from a really good student to a decent  student and now a average. And when I see her crying I really get angry at myself .. “what am I doing?” ” how will I help her if I start to become like this ”
I am really crying right now , I can’t go on now sorry ..

That was all I can say about my family
Thanks for reading

Are you crying ?

Are you crying?
How can I be crying
After all the tears I have cried
I thought the tears had dried out
Just like your love for me
But my tears have dried away
And replaced with hate, here to stay
My fuel is my hate
And it will help me motivate
To fight against my feelings for you
To burn my past and bury it too
I never cared how much you hurt me
As long as you were there with me
But now you aren’t with me
And it feels like I’m a burning fury
Why would you do something like that
What did I lack in my love for you
You could’ve just told me

taken Some help from a fellow blogger(check out her blog Here)
She’s a really nice writer .

Emptiness

Lying in emptiness
What I was looking for
(silence making so much noise)
Feeling thirsty near the shore
escaping reality through imagination
thinking what would happen
If I was like this forever
My self was haunting
Hunting me forever

for Crying out loud
Was it too much to make you proud
The beast you have created
Is shivering like a coward
Lacking any power
I was hiding like a coward
To afraid to make a move
And don’t know what to do thereafter
I was making myself a fool
By not realising what I can do
But My shots lacked any power
and I lost all my focus too

I was miserable

I was miserable
I was dieing
Atleast then I didnt hurt someone with my lies
But then you came to my life
You made me realise
I shouldn’t be like this, but why?
Why do you have to haul me from the shadow?
I was better laying there

I was bad
I was wrong
I was the shallow side of the coin
That always face the ground

When you left me
I could have cried
If I knew how
My eyes were all dried out

I want you to hear me
But the sound wasn’t getting out
I want you to see me
But I was a hovering ghost outside my body